Over the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned is "happiness." I worry about happiness goals because I'm not sure if we know what happiness is or when we have accomplished this goal. I just read a book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman. He is a psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The following are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think about them and add your comments.
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
Your blogs have been inspiring and awesome. Best wishes for the future!
In my opinion, happiness means a lot of different things. One thing that I think makes a person happy is when they are happy with themselves. I know from personal experience that when I take care of myself and the way I look, I feel so much better about myself and I am much happier. Another thing that I think is probably the most important factor to achieve happiness is having strong relationships with people you really love. Being in a loving and committed relationship is important to me because I can really find happiness in a relationship as long as it is a healthy and loving relationship. Its important to be aware of who you begin relationships with because not every relationship is considered a healthy one. Another thing that I believe will make a person happier is when they don’t dwell on the things that upset them. Yes, everyone goes through hard times. And yes, most people can’t easily forget, forgive, and move on. However, if you find something to take your mind off of the stresses in your life, you will find yourself being much happier and less stressed. Getting a good night sleep is also another contributing factor to happiness. I find that when I am well rested, I wake up in a good mood. It is fact that people who wake up in a good mood are typically more likely to have a good day rather than people who have bad mornings. When I wake up happy, have a nice good breakfast, and possibly get a little bit of exercise in the morning, I usually go through the rest of my day more smoothly and happily.
ReplyDeleteI believe happiness correlates to be being comfortable with who you are, what it is that you bring to the world around you and who you share your life with. I love the quote in college scope that states " Happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting" Identifying your strengths and being able to use them in order to help others and yourself. Forming loving relationships in which you give and receive respect, understanding and compassion all relate to your happiness. The experiences that we have when negative should only make us stronger and take them as lessons learned. The positive experiences will stay with you for life and enable you to see the beauty of what is, to you, the important things in life. I am personally happy when my life has stability, I am able to share my love in a healthy intimate relationship and relationships with my family, when I am able to feel a sense of self-fulfillment, which allows me to love and be comfortable with who I am and that I am able to make a difference in someone else’s life. Loving yourself allows you to fully love someone else and loving yourself comes with knowing who you are and using your personal strengths to form a life for yourself that you are proud of . Happiness can involve many different factors and can be different to everyone but I believe that the basis of happiness is love.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama
ReplyDeleteHappiness is looked at in many different ways. The way I look at happiness is simply by having a positive state of mind, and being comfortable about who you are. It’s not about having everything in our life like money, cars, clothes and more. That sort of happiness is not considered long term happiness; instead it’s considered as the adaptation level theory kind of happiness which simply means we become quickly accustomed to the good fortune that it starts fading away. Maintaining long term happiness is up to us. It is the little things in life that we do that matter and make us enjoy our lives daily. I look at happiness as being happy, pursuing my personal goals in life, being happy for others, practicing acts of kindness, and having intimate relationships. An example of practicing acts of kindness that I do is helping the homeless. They are the one reason that I always make sure I have cash on me. No matter where they are, if they are on the other side of the street, or sleeping in the grass, I make sure to pull over and give them some money to make sure they have something to eat and drink. Every little bit helps, and I can tell you all, the immensity of happiness I feel after doing something simple like that compares to nothing else. Knowing that I helped someone, knowing they are happy, makes me feel like I am on top of the world. There are many more little things I do in order to keep myself happy in my life which is simply taking care of myself, my diet/health, and taking care of my family. Getting enough sleep also contributes to feeling good for the day and being happy. Lastly, expressing gratitude is important to me and my happiness. Being thankful and appreciative in life is a great feeling. I wouldn’t say I feel lucky; I am actually blessed with the great things and people I have in my life. I stopped wanting and started working and hoping for my future. Having a family, friends, even teachers to take time to teach their students makes me very blessed and thankful for the life I live in, and most of all it creates happiness.
What the happiness mean to me, it is mean a lot thing, first of all; when I see how often I see that God has created me full without physical disability and minds feel at the time at the top of happiness. Nothing in this world that can make up man what is missing. When we ask the blind; what you wish, of course his answer will be eyes to see and something to other people who they have physical or mental problem. I heard this story from my father, there was a village and came guest, first thing he wanted to visit is the necropolis, and what he found was very strange to him, in next to the name of deceased was his age who lived in this world, the strange was in ages, one lived one hour, second one day, and third three days and which was the longest period. This thing make him ask, what your problem with ages and why you are live very short, some one answer that what you found is not the ages but represent how much the person live good health on this earth. What I want to say we are live in happiness, when we do not have physical disability and should feel in happiness and thank God for this blessing.
ReplyDeleteThe past is the past; however, it does take a role into your future. The past mean whatever we’ve done is gone, finished, and can never appear again. We all do mistakes in our past, or have done things we wish we hadn’t done. I believe this passage holds it’s meaning. No one should judge you about your past. This does go both ways though. A person can do wrong and harmful things that can lead him to a difficult pathway in life or a career. But having a good well-known background with many good deeds can lead you to success. For example, serving and giving back to your community can put you in a position where you’ll be successful. I try to avoid judging people, but when you have a history of negative actions behind you, it’s hard to give the benefit of doubt. I believe the past and present can determine your future. We are the only people can control that. It’s important to be a role model to others, because we can determine the next generation. We’re all here to fulfill a certain calling. Without education this society can go down the drain. It’s already bad enough, its up to us to make a difference.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing from the past that has a foothold in your future are the things you gave permission to do so. The past is like the ocean. When you fish up something from your past, do you throw it back in, or do you keep it with you so it ca soil the air around you. Of course, there are those rare things you find that wash ashore that came from a mistake. Once in a while we learn a valuable lesson, and if we learn from that lesson it can have a profound affect on our future. Whether it be a lesson on how we should treat people, or a lesson on how to lead a happy life, it has more power over your future then any regret.
ReplyDeleteWhat does happiness mean to me? It does not mean I discovered the meaning of life, nor does it mean I did everything from A to Z. Happiness to me means I did not waste my brief time on this world, and any mistakes I made can be and will be reconciled. Happiness to me is finding our personal purpose, and pursuing it with all our heart and with all our efforts.
I have actually started to be a pre student at Sharp Rees Stealy physical therapy, and this new experience has brought me happiness. I found a saying that said, "I may not be there yet, but i am one step closer than i was yesterday". This is so amazing because i am happy seeing and working with people who are actually doing the job that i would like to do soon in the future. I want to become a Physical therapist and that brings happiness to me in my life. Happiness is waking up every morning and thanking god for being able to wake up, have two feet, legs, arms, and hands to work and be able to go out and talk to friends, see family members. Being happy is appreciating what you have in your life because someone else might not be lucky enough as you are. What we sometimes want is not exactly what we always need. Being happy is an incredible feeling, that warmth inside of us when we see our loved ones and happiness because we can share all of these beautiful moments with them. Happiness is smiling at a stranger that you do not even know, because that smile could have just changed their day. We never know what is going to happen, or if we will be here tomorrow, or if our loved ones will. So be happy and live your life to the fullest and enjoy every second of it because it is all worth it at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me is accomplishing my goals. Im a driven goal oriented person. It how I measure success and progress but its also what I love. I agree your past does not determine your future. However we should all learn from our past. I think the mistakes I've made make me who I am today. Also it is important to engage in what makes you happy in life. For me is riding mountain bikes or being with friends or camping out doors. I also think surrounding yourself with good friends and good people is another important part of happiness and also good flow. I make a point to not surround myself with people who are negative or just want to bring you down. I disagree that having more things will make you unhappy. The things I have I have worked hard for and I am proud of. I think if you're a hard working person you deserve to have things and enjoy them and not be hated for it.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me is being the best mom I can be. Everything I do in my life is being watched by three little sets of eyes that are mimiking my words, actions and behaviors. I then think that hapiness is being a good person and a intelligent person. When you are educated and a good person you have good things happen, you are able to make good decisions to make a better life for yourself. I am trying to clean out my closet of friends and family and only surround myself with people who are looking for the same things in life as me. I want good, honest and hard working people in my life to surround me and my children.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion happiness comes from different things but the most important thing is to not compare our life to other’s lives because when we do so, we are making our life not valuable. We have to appreciate the good things that we have. It does not matter if people or things we have are bad we have to look at the bright side. I feel taking care of myself makes me happy too. Like when I go to do facial I feel good toward myself that I am doing something good to my health and that reflects on my smile and people around me such as my sisters have been noting that. Walking makes me happy too because of many reasons. First it makes me feel healthier. Second if I am stressed and I walk, I forget everything else. Walking helps me relax and know what I want. Shopping makes me happy too. When I am angry of something I go shopping it helps me forget and concentrate on what I see in the stores so for me shopping is the yell of “stop”
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI think happiness means having joy in every aspect of your life. Which includes your education, job, relationships, family, and especially yourself. It's being happy in the moment, content with the past, and hopeful for the future. Everyone has their own way of finding happiness. For me personally it's being with people I care about and who care about me. Having fun and laughing obviously is the simplest way to be happy. I also think hobbies give people lots of joy, and that's something that can be different for all people. And finding someone who shares an interest in your hobbies can bring you lots of happiness. The key to happiness I think though, is being happy with yourself. If you aren't you'll have a hard time finding happiness in things.
ReplyDeleteI do believe what he said when the more things you have the less appreciative you become of what you have because it's happened to me. I have so many electronic gadgets and although they are expensive I'm starting to not really care for them because I have so much of it. I also take for granted the roof over my head and having been born in the U.S. rather than a third world country. I need to appreciate those things more if I want to live out my true happiness. What happiness means to me is being with the people you love and making memories that will last a life time. The most rewarding reason for happiness is the connections you make with people. I also believe that each person have individual goals that they feel like they would want to achieve and I think once achieved that lifts a big weight off the person's shoulders and then comes happiness. Physcologist have also studied happiness when it comes to money and although a person is happy with a certain amount of money for a certain amount of time I think this is a different happiness and not one that comes from the heart.
ReplyDeleteI fully agree with this excerpt. I believe that most people are hedonist. I know that in my family and probably in most families in America we are hedonist. I even believe this is a hedonist society we live in today. It all about how many materialistic possessions do you have. How much money is in your bank account. What kind of car do you drive. How big and where is your home located. We are raised to think that is whats most important in life. Also that the more you have in your possessions you have acquired then the happier you will be. I have come to find that to be incorrect. As stated in the excerpt whats comes from having more material possessions bring more stress and exceptions on what you will do to top what you have already accomplished. Due to this you can never sit back and be truly happy because you are so focused on acquiring more. The people that I have come to realize true happiness are the people who don’t place high importance on material possessions but focus on family and personal relationships. These are things that never lose value and can always evolve into something better then it was the day before. To me happiness is something that everyone can achieve but is varies from person to person. My happiness is simple, its being able to continue to provide for my family and watch them grew and develop. Also further developing my personal relationships with family and friends.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is a constant effort. It can be a challenge to maintain your happiness at times, but even the down falls teach us how special the happy times are. I love the simple things in life; walking through a green meadow and feeling the wind in my hair. I love the smell of puppies, how cats look when they play and the warmth of a hug from a dear friend. Life is too short to be displeased. We cultivate our own happiness from the inside out,an being aware of your lifestyle and environment is a really important part of finding joy in the 'sprinkles' of it through our lives.
ReplyDeleteThis year has been a year of change for me, so I intend to keep the ball rolling. I intend to become more organized in my school work and spend more time outdoors exercising. I intend to take better care of my body by eating better and my mind by doing more puzzles or reading more books. My semesters to come are going to be a long haul and challenging. I intend to stick with my goals to get my degree before my thirtieth birthday.
ReplyDeleteHappiness means that you are enjoying every aspect of you life. This includes the challenges you experience because there is no perfect life where everything goes well and there is no life without challenges. I agree that we should not dwell on the past, especially the bad events, but I also believe the past has great importance on the present. Also the past, can be an indicator for the future if nothing is done about it. The future does hold many possibilities for happiness and I believe that there are many ways to get there. I believe that learning to forgive and forget is a very important aspect of happiness because people cannot move on if they do not know how to do this. A person is not able to savor the happy times or enjoy the present moment if they are stuck on grudges and arguments. I myself have experienced a moment in time where I could not move on from a grudge and it consumed me. I was not able to be happy in the present. I also always try to engage in activities that make me happy. This is always a pick me up and something I can look forward to in my day if have an activity planned that I enjoy.
ReplyDeleteHappiness to me means accepting your mistakes and moving to correct them. Happiness means being grateful for everything and everyone that you have in your life, accepting that life is not determined by what we own but by what we accomplish. To be truly happy also means that we come to terms that there are things in life that we want, and things that we need, totally two different things. True happiness for many means working your hardest to check off a list, for others it involves doing the least possible thing that they can do. Happiness is just a feeling of accomplishment that varies from person to person.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is satisfaction, and it is everywhere in every little thing. To me being happy means sitting with my family in the living room having our funny, crazy conversations. I'm happy when I see the smile of a little child, or when I see some guy helping an old lady, or when I get to see a couple in love with each other. Happiness is the ultimate cause that people do everything in their lives to achieve and sometimes people get it the wrong way. It is true that money is necessary for life but money doesn't buy true friend, it can't buy love, nor it can buy a warm family. I find happiness in nature as when I look at a beautiful hill surrounded with these glamorous stars, or when I see this beautiful garden full of flowers. I appreciate what I have and that makes me the happiest person ever, but what makes me feel bad is that people are never satisfied with what God have blessed them with, as if they're blind. So life is good and happiness is close to us wherever we look carefully we would definitely see happiness. When people understand the true concept of being happy that will be the most motivating element in their lives to do well on every task.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is a very touchy subject to talk on because it is not one of those things that you either have or you don't. it is a feeling, and I suck at expressing feelings. I guess I would say I am a hedonist. I am only 19 and haven't really been able to experience true happiness, just temporary. I've always wanted to be the happiest person I could be, and I thought this meant having more good moments than bad moments. Unfortunately, this is not the case. True happiness comes from having something to be proud of, which I haven't really developed yet. Fortunately, for me, I am still young and that is what makes me happy. I might not have anything to be proud of to make me happy or anything like that, but I am still young and have plenty of opportunity to develop lots of things, or achieve countless goals I have in life to make me happy. Being young and having such potential is what really makes me happy, currently.
ReplyDeleteIt is very ironic that you ask this question now. With my mind absolutely everywhere it's hard to pin point what is my personal happiness. But I feel like at this point in my life my happiness is my faith. This semester has just been the hardest one of my life. I cant begin to explain to explain. There are many times where I felt like I couldn't do it and that was rare for me. I never felt weak before. But I guess you go through things to make you stronger. I've learned a lot this semester about myself and happiness. I grew up catholic but I became closer to my faith. I kept reading the bible everyday and I memorize verses and I think that's what's kept me happy. When I read verses I feel as if I have this overwhelming confidence that no one can break. When everything first happened I looked around absolutely clueless. I couldn't think of my short term goals and I couldn't think of my long term goals. I just felt there. But overtime I realized that I was entitled to myself and I need to pick myself up to be a strong individual. I watched a lot of the series 'The Bible' which is just absolutely amazing and life changing. It really made me open my eyes to all the stories of the world that really took place. It just gave me so much hope and faith for the future. I tend to always want to be a positive person so that helped me a lot. Overall, I can certainly say this semester changed my life. I'll never forget it and what my family went through. I know it'll take time to build a new found happiness but I guess there's no mountain high enough.
ReplyDeleteI think many people right now are hedonists, especially when you’re in your early 20’s. Right now more and more people are looking for material possessions to give them happiness when they should be trying to find it in other forms. I agree with Seligman when he states “Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events.” People spend too much time reliving bad times and less on the happy times they had. If more people took the time to make themselves happy instead of just mopping around thinking about the bad they will be much happier in life. In my opinion happiness is finding the things that you enjoy most and the people you enjoy being around and stick to that. If you’re hanging around people you need to impress you’re not making yourself happy. Once you find those two components nothing else matters. And if you’re lucky enough to have a career in which you love and work with people who are good to one another then you hit the jackpot. Putting oneself first to be is happiness, because in the end all you have is yourself and if you’re not happy you need to change it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mr. Silgman that many people are hedonists,that most of us look for happiness by acquiring materials things. When I was young I was that, even in my forties.Now I have change the way I see happiness by looking at happiness as more spiritual and soul state. Materials things can cover many necessities and even make you happy but not for long as Mr. Seligman said. Happiness can be pursue just by enjoying that we are alive, the privilege to have an opportunity to star again everyday, to spent sometime letting your family know how much you love them, to do your best at school in order to realize your dreams. To appreciate what we have and be grateful for it, focusing in the good things that happen everyday, trying to be happy one day at the time and looking for better tomorrow. It is so important to do what you love to do, can be working, studying, traveling, exercising, painting, etc, anything that can give you a sense of accomplishing and make you smile inside and out. We use to focus on the bad things, but life is short and we have to enjoy the moment. Forget about the past and live the present, thinking in the future. I do like all the suggestions to pursue happiness,this will reinforce my positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIrma Tiznado, May 26, 2013
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mr. Silgman that many people are hedonists,that most of us look for happiness by acquiring materials things. When I was young I was that, even in my forties.Now I have change the way I see happiness by looking at happiness as more spiritual and soul state. Materials things can cover many necessities and even make you happy but not for long as Mr. Seligman said. Happiness can be pursue just by enjoying that we are alive, the privilege to have an opportunity to star again everyday, to spent sometime letting your family know how much you love them, to do your best at school in order to realize your dreams. To appreciate what we have and be grateful for it, focusing in the good things that happen everyday, trying to be happy one day at the time and looking for better tomorrow. It is so important to do what you love to do, can be working, studying, traveling, exercising, painting, etc, anything that can give you a sense of accomplishing and make you smile inside and out. We use to focus on the bad things, but life is short and we have to enjoy the moment. Forget about the past and live the present, thinking in the future. I do like all the suggestions to pursue happiness,this will reinforce my positive thoughts.
Irma Tiznado, May 26, 2913
ReplyDeletePlease Ignore Strife comments, it was my son blog that was open when I posted mine. I had to re-post mine after him. Thank you